22

Another year on the big planet

This time last year, I turned 21 and published this post. At the time of publishing this one, I’ll be 22. That’s another year gone, and another year older.

I can confidently say I’ve learned absolutely nothing.

Fundamentally, nothing much has changed about me. I find it difficult to get my head around the fact that it’s been an entire year. I look the same. I also feel (mostly) the same. Albeit now, I have more on my plate.

Several important things have happened in between that are distinctly significant life experiences. Graduation, for one (I talk about this a lot, I know). Starting another degree. Work as well. Managing my own money and time.

It’s all been a bit of a mush. More responsibilities have piled up in my personal life like building blocks, and my initial panic over it has slowly descended to some sort of acceptance? I suppose that’s growth. Or adulthood, whatever it is.

I was—or, I thought I was, wholly unprepared for everything that was inevitably going to come my way post undergraduate studies. I’m like that with every new change in my

life.

I went through a similar thing a few years ago when I graduated from high school all melodramatically and couldn’t picture my future after it and was worried sick over university. It’s been three years since and I’ve got the degree and a job, so it’s been fine.

Instead of, well, worst case scenarios, there’s often there’s a rapid learning curve that hits you where all this stuff happens and you just kinda have to adapt. I’ve been looking back and examining the first few months of 2025 by reading my journal entries.

For the entirety of February I went on and on and on about change and how I’d cope. Now I’m sitting in my room and thinking about the fact that I was literally stressing myself out over nothing.

A significant amount of that stress, which I can pinpoint now, came from the feeling that I wasn’t the person that I wanted to be. A year ago, I was grappling with the studies of my third and final year, I wasn’t working, and most of all, I wasn’t creative.

This has been the biggest point of contrast, which I’ve been enjoying. In general, my creativity has risen. It’s like I’ve finally given myself permission to actually do things I like; being able to look at something I created after working on it for hours has been incredibly carthartic, mood boosting and confidence building. Instead of being embarrassed by it, I share it.

I’ve been writing more and more, just like how I used to when I was a kid. Documenting the last half year or so in a journal that I actually make fun to write in, posting on here, creating Google Docs of plots and stories that one day I hope to turn into fully fledged books.

Speaking of books, I’ve read more this year than I have all of 2024 and 2025 isn’t even over yet. Instead of painstakingly making my way through novels I like making time at the end of the day to pick up a book to read before bed, or to listen to an audiobook while cleaning.

I’ve also picked up art. Besides scrawling stick figures, I’ve never properly drawn in my life. I’d always been too embarrassed for some reason of people thinking it was bad in a way unlike my writing.

Sometimes I draw items or objects, other times I doodle. I do collages for each month and I enjoy picking the pictures and colour theme for each one. I’ve also been drawing some of my favourite characters and learning how to capture each face. Art has rapidly become one of my favourite hobbies now that it’s along the same lines as the rest that I’ve outlined; I can just tune out and relax.

There are other things too. I’m making efforts to go out and do the things I want, both in my professional and personal life. Applying to write, posting on here, making friends, talking to others even if the pit in my stomach tells me not to.

I’ve been way out my comfort zone on purpose. I’ve been so uncomfortable all year with how my life has been progressing—but only because it’s a new experience. All these little aspects have accumulated into well rounded development, even if not particularly noticeable unless you pay attention or if you can see it day by day (thank you 2025 journal).

I’ve done this all through the same process I tried to did last year. I set my goals at the beginning of the year and this time, I put my mind to accomplishing them. Not over the top or purposefully, but slowly integrating it into my life until it’s become common routine.

There are still dozens I haven’t achieved, but I also have time to do those. I’m not in a rush. The important part is that somewhere over the course of eight months, I’ve unconsciously taken steps to the version of myself that I want to be. Hopefully, by this time next year, I’ll be even closer.

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